When Josh and I first started dating, we were separated early on by distance. He moved to California, while I still lived in Georgia. Being separated by thousands of miles presented a whole new series of issues that we had to deal with at such an early time in our relationship. In an effort to keep building each other up and remain together, I devised a series of questions to ask over the phone to each other that kept our relationship alive.
Sometimes in marriage now, life happens to separate us. Whether it's a job that requires travel, or busy lifestyles that do not lead to time together, it's still important to feel connected. So I'll still bring up this list of questions if we are in need. Some have changed or morphed, but the basics are still there. Hopefully, you can take away something from these and implement them in you own lives. So without further ado, here are the questions we ask each other in hard times:
1. How has your day/week been?
Keep active in each other's life by knowing what's going on. It's important to keep an active communication on even the most mundane tasks or events. This is also a good start to open conversation that relaxes you for the deeper stuff coming up.
2. How have I lifted you up this week/today?
Think of something that your significant other has done to support or lift you up. It's important to feel acknowledged or significant in each other's life. This can also help better understand each other's love languages that can lead to deeper understandings of what makes the other tick.
3. Was there a moment you felt unsupported by me this week/today? How can I correct it or do it differently next time?
Sometimes you make mistakes. And instead of holding in resentment, it's a good idea to point out any issues that under the other circumstances, may be difficult to talk about.
4. What are your goals for this next week/tomorrow?
Keep up with each other's goals and dreams to hold each other accountable for continued growth. If you aren't growing, where are you going in life? Make sure you both aren't remaining static.
5. How can I lift you up or support you in your goals this week/tomorrow?
Sometimes if you're having trouble knowing what your significant other expects from you, it helps to just straight up ask. How can I help you meet your goals? What can I do to make sure you succeed, if anything?
6. What is a passage you've read lately and how can we support each other spiritually this week?
Having a root in faith is significant in spiritual health and continued personal growth. There are so many traditions in the wedding day itself that point toward spirituality and faith in God. Since Josh and I are Christian, we would talk about what we're reading in the Bible and how that is effecting our relationships or life that week.
6. How can I support you sexually this week/tomorrow?
Don't be afraid to ask about intimacy. Having an open dialog about it can ease so many unresolved resentments or sexual issues. Enough said.
Hopefully some of these can help in building your own stronger relationship. Do you have any rituals that help propel your connection to each other? Tell me in the comments below.